Friday, May 22, 2015

Even More Hindsight




I started writing this blog in 2013 after a brutal 10 days post surgery. I was trying to get my extremely independent 6 month old son to eat out of anything without screaming and crying because he wanted to hold his own bottle. I started it thinking that if I could help one mom get one more minute of sleep by helping to either calm her fears or maybe even her baby it would be worth my time spent.
 A year and a half later I have an amazing, happy, stubborn, and even more independent two year old, as well as a whole new perspective on life.
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When Isaac was in the hospital for his palate surgery (6 months) I didn't know it yet but I was pregnant with his little brother Conor Gabriel.
Conor was born 2 weeks early by c-section when I went into labor to find he was breech. Besides the surprise c-section everything went perfect. Conor was and is perfect. We took him home to meet his brothers (JJ and Isaac) and his dog Apollo and tried the best we could to act as if we were sane with three baby boys under the age of Three! (My oldest son and Isaac are 11 months apart.) When he was three and half weeks old he got sick. Doctors said it was simply a stomach bug. Long story short Conor was discharged from the hospital with a "stomach bug" the first time, and the second time we didn't take him home. He was diagnosed with Nectrotizing Enterocolitis. "Nec" (for Short) is a disease, most commonly seen in premature infants, where the walls of the intestines begin to die. Before we knew the severity of the disease and knew we would be there indefinitely depending on how he responded to treatment, My husband and I recall saying to one another "why cant it just be a cleft lip or palate, easy stuff!"

 His doctors did everything they could to help his little body fight this awful disease, but by the time Conor went in for surgery because it had broken through his intestine wall it was to late. His entire intestine had been affected by the Nec.
Conor Gabriel Stenberg died on June 2nd 2014
He is missed more than words can say, and loved even more than that. But Conor is our entire families reminder of how fragile life is, and what a blessing each day is to be with a family you love.
Looking at Isaac I see a strong willed boy who can do anything he wants in this world. Not all people have that ability. But There is a bigger plan for all of us, and if we can possibly not mess it up here on earth, then someday we might see God smiling on the work we have done and the trials we have faced. Then no disability, or birth defect, or setback will matter anymore. We can all have Happiness forever, like Conor.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Isaac is a blessing to us and so is Conor. And All of our sons are reminders to us that God will never give you anything that you can not handle.


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